Brexit and the End

Many people are talking about the economic chaos that will be ahead because of the “Brexit” vote, but I predict that at least one industry will benefit substantially from it: The “end times” ministry business. In fact, I'm sure John Hagee already has another book drafted to explain why it's a sign of the end, and yes, he's really serious THIS time. (Buy 10 copies, one for you, 9 for friends you’re not anxious to keep.)
In practical terms, the end times fail club has been confused for a while because the EU has grown to more than the ten members they needed for their schemes. I distinctly remember in elementary school a Christian student who was remarking on the fact that at the time, the nascent EU had 9 members, and the nation of Turkey was “thinking of joining.” I also remember well the drumbeat of a fundamentalist relative of hellfire persuasion, who passed around Rapture tracts like cheesy puffs at a martini party. The joining of member #10 was sure to get the Antichrist into the tailor shop to be fitted for his cumberbund.

Then something funny happened. The EU ended up with more than 10 members, and the number of members kept going up, and up, and up…until a 10 nation confederacy was barely a grease spot in the rearview mirror.

The end times fail club scrambled to account for this. One grouping decided to look elsewhere for the set of 10. Who can forget that guy – what was he, a nuclear engineer? – who said Gorbachev was the Antichrist, and the 10 nation confederacy was to be found in the Warsaw Pact, plus Afghanistan? 

Eventually the EU grew to where it now has 28 members, and that's nearly three times what they needed. By then they were saying that the Antichrist would maybe merge several of the nations, so we’d end up with ten; or like that Gorby guy, they realigned the praxis outside the EU; to wit, abandoning any pretext that current nations would evolve into the set of ten, and instead, hypothesizing that a future UN would divide the whole world into ten segments (excluding a rogue Israel).

In terms of the current Brexit situation, I can see them coming up with any number of ideas, but probably they'll say one of two things:
"The EU will soon be back to just 10 members, and then the Antichrist will take over those 10!"


"Ten nations will leave the EU, and the Antichrist will lead them against the other 18!"

I'm taking wagers starting next week, so let me know. Just keep in mind that with the end times fail club, there’s always hope in the theoretical when the facts don’t cooperate.

Who knows? Maybe John Hagee will combine ideas with his last failed hypothesis and suggest that some of those 10 nations will be started on the moon.


Jason Pratt said…
Lol'd hard at "9 friends you're not anxious to keep"!


Popular posts from this blog

How Many Children in Bethlehem Did Herod Kill?

Where did Jesus say "It is better to give than receive?"

The Bogus Gandhi Quote

Discussing Embryonic Stem Cell Research

Revamping and New Articles at the CADRE Site

Exodus 22:18 - Are Followers of God to Kill Witches?

A Botched Abortion Shows the Lies of Pro-Choice Proponents

Jewish writings and a change in the Temple at the time of the Death of Jesus

Tillich, part 2: What does it mean to say "God is Being Itself?"

The Folded Napkin Legend