Disagreement Does Not Equal Hatred

Today, two children were killed and multiple other children and adults were injured during morning mass at a Roman Catholic church/school in Minnesota. The perpetrator was a trans woman who had transitioned from male to female in approximately 2019. The news also reported that the perpetrator had apparently attended that school.

I don’t know why the perpetrator chose to shoot children. According to the news report I saw, he had posted a video manifesto either last night or earlier in the day saying how much he enjoyed shooting children.

Having been a father to four children, and now being a grandparent to even more, I am heartbroken for the families of the victims – both the two young children who were killed as well as the other adults and children who were hit in the hail of bullets.

We don’t yet know why the perpetrator acted in this way. I do know that if it is true that he just liked shooting children, he was a very evil individual. People who want to harm children are evil, pure and simple.

But what concerns me most is that this person may have been radicalized to hate the church. I get that he was a transgender (and I also get that calling the perpetrator “he” will be considered abusive to him in some circles). But that’s the problem. He hated the church because the church stood up for what it believed to be true (and what billions of people throughout history understood to be the truth) – that he was a man and no amount of “gender affirming care” would make him a woman.

When a viewpoint that is widely held as true is deemed to be hateful, then it justifies people who do not believe the same things to attack those pushing the “hate” and to feel justified in doing so.

Obviously, I am one who believes strongly that a man cannot become a woman through hormone treatment and surgery. Likewise, a woman cannot become a man by the same means. I don’t find the arguments to the contrary convincing. I am more than happy to discuss the truth of my position with anyone who will agree to engage in civil discourse. At the same time, I don’t hate those that believe the contrary. I do believe that they are pushing a lie, but I think most people pushing the lie actually believe the lie – they don’t hold the belief because they are haters. As such, they deserve compassion, not hate.

Yet, we have rabble-rousers who are actually pushing the even bigger lie that disagreement equals hatred. This is not true. Are there haters? Of course, there will always be some people who hate others for any number of reasons. But the vast, vast majority of people who hold to the historical position that I hold do not hate the people who identify as transgender. But if some tell people that others (like the Roman Catholic Church) are teaching others to hate those who hold a certain view, and they teach this because they hate those people, then that gives warrant to use violence to stamp out the hatred.

That should never be. We need to unite in agreement that most people do not hate those with whom they disagree. We need to return to a civil discourse that allows us to disagree about the big issues but respect the other person – and maybe even join them afterwards for a cup of tea.